The first time I realized “success” had a soundtrack, it wasn’t at a pep rally or an awards night, it was on my phone at 11:47 p.m., while I was doing one last scroll that somehow turned into 40 minutes. Every swipe felt like another reminder that someone my age was richer, prettier, more productive, more booked, more ahead. And even when I know it’s curated, it still hits.
“The infamous doomscrolling can be nice every now and then, a time to relax, but often afterwards I feel a little guilty, as I could have been doing other things or talking to someone in person,” Old Saybrook High School senior Casey Deangelo explained.
That guilt is exactly why I think we need to say this out loud, social media is turning teen success into something that looks instant and achievable for everyone and at OSHS, it’s warping how we measure ourselves. The highlight reel isn’t just about looks anymore. It’s about lifestyles, money, acceptance letters, businesses, and the illusion that if you aren’t winning loudly, you’re losing quietly. That’s not motivation. That’s pressure.
When you open TikTok, Instagram or Snapchat, you don’t just see someone’s day. You see the version of their life they chose to package. Casey says teens are “showing themselves at their happiest moments,” but also pushing “new trending personal business and progression posts, whether dropshipping, powerwashing or anything.”
That’s the point: success online isn’t one thing. It’s everything, all at once social life, gym progress, luxury items, college decisions and it’s constant.
Senior Josh Roslonek, another OSHS student, puts it bluntly: “Success online for me has to do with money, followers, and looks.”
And “looks” doesn’t just mean genetics, it’s the body you build, the aesthetic you maintain, the proof you post. When that becomes the criteria, normal teenage milestones start to feel small. A good grade, a solid season, a part-time job, a normal weekend can all feel not enough next to a feed full of extremes.
Research backs up why this comparison spiral is so sticky. Child Health News, a …., notes that constant exposure to “seemingly perfect” people can push young people into unrealistic expectations about their own appearance and achievements. Loma Linda, a … from University News And Child Mind Institute, points out that teens who build idealized personas can feel worse when there’s a gap between who they act like online and who they actually are.
At Old Saybrook, this shows up in really specific ways especially around college season. Josh describes seeing a post about “college.. an incredibly impressive application, high SAT score, High GPA, tons of extracurriculars” and then watching that person get rejected, which “made it feel like getting into my dream schools was very out of reach.”
Even when the message is life isn’t fair, the takeaway for a lot of us becomes: If that’s not enough, what is? To be fair, I’m not pretending social media is all bad. Sometimes it genuinely helps. Josh even says the internet can “even out” because some creators document slow progress daily and make growth feel more realistic.
Casey also describes being motivated by others abilities: “I always aspire to be better and can be motivated by others abilities.” There are creators who teach real skills, show real routines, and remind you you’re not alone.
But the problem is volume and the way algorithms reward the flashiest outcome, not the most honest process. Casey says what gets left out is the part people actually need- “There is never a clear showcase of how much or how little work is put into a success,” which makes it hard to judge what’s real and even harder to replicate.
When effort is hidden, success starts to look like a personality trait instead of a long timeline. So what do we do? Honestly, I don’t think the solution is “delete everything and become a monk.” Most of us use social media to keep up with friends, sports, school news and trends. The fix is changing how we consume it and how much power we let it have. Casey’s wish isn’t to censor teen life, but to shrink how nonstop it is: “Too many times social media is being used as a means of education or entertainment when it simply should not be. Turn social media back into a fun thing on the side, not a forever lifestyle coach.”
If we’re being real, teenage success was never supposed to be a 15-second clip. It’s supposed to be messy. It’s supposed to be slow. It’s supposed to include awkward first drafts, invisible effort, and years where nothing blows up because that’s normal. And the second we stop letting social media define the timeline, we get our own back.
